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No Living in Parked Vehicles
- from a street
sign in Bayfield, Wisconsin
Only the dead may park, all others
must stay on the move. All drive-ins
are
henceforth drive-thrus. Length
and purpose of stopping determines
severity of penalty: to plant a seed
forfeits
a hand, to sketch a flower,
an eye. Dumping your ashtray,
however, is everywhere permitted.
The jurisdiction
of this statute
extends to all rivers and the Great
Lakes, covers all mineral claims
except strip mines, goes
out to sea
three hundred miles, and vertically to
infinity, the North Star having a waiver.
Fishermen must
troll, becalmed schooners
will be sunk, innertubes, confiscated.
For your comfort, mobile gas-food-
restroom
facilities have been dispatched
to circle at all interstate highway
cloverleaves, Three million square miles
of
pavement will shortly be added,
as soon as the apartments come down.
The Director cordially wishes everyone
happy
motoring. Now, make it snappy.
Steve Fay
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