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Steve Fay - No Living in Parked Vehicles

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No Living in Parked Vehicles

- from a street sign in Bayfield, Wisconsin

Only the dead may park, all others
must stay on the move. All drive-ins
are henceforth drive-thrus. Length

and purpose of stopping determines
severity of penalty: to plant a seed
forfeits a hand, to sketch a flower,

an eye. Dumping your ashtray,
however, is everywhere permitted.
The jurisdiction of this statute

extends to all rivers and the Great
Lakes, covers all mineral claims
except strip mines, goes out to sea

three hundred miles, and vertically to
infinity, the North Star having a waiver.
Fishermen must troll, becalmed schooners

will be sunk, innertubes, confiscated.
For your comfort, mobile gas-food-
restroom facilities have been dispatched

to circle at all interstate highway
cloverleaves, Three million square miles
of pavement will shortly be added,

as soon as the apartments come down.
The Director cordially wishes everyone
happy motoring. Now, make it snappy.

Steve Fay

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